"I saw the diagnosis as a death sentence"

Melanie* (38), who now lives in Zug, was knowingly infected with the HIV virus 15 years ago by her then boyfriend. She tells how the virus has changed her life.

Radiant sunshine on an afternoon on the Zug Seepromenade. Melanie* also looks like a ray of sunshine in her yellow dress and her friendly smile. She looks lively and full of joie de vivre. If you had met her 15 years ago, the image of the now 38-year-old would have been different. At the age of 23, Melanie was infected with HIV (Human Immunodeficiency Virus) by her then boyfriend. He knew about his infection at the time, but deliberately concealed it. "That fact pulled the floor from under my feet at the time. I saw the diagnosis as my death sentence," recalls Melanie, who is originally from the Palatinate, a region in southwest Germany. Due to her career, she has been living in Switzerland, and currently in the city of Zug, since 2004.

Melanie explains how the infection occurred: "We used condoms, but not during oral intercourse, where I probably became infected." But the main reason for the infection was that the man had not taken any medication against the virus at the time, and was thereby highly infectious. "I found out that, at that time, he’d already been aware of his HIV infection for two years, and that he had also infected other women," says Melanie.

Three and a half years in prison
The outcome of the charges she brought against him was rather disillusioning: the German regional court in Landau/Pfalz sentenced the man to only three and a half years in prison. "He didn't look at me during the whole proceedings. He did not use his own words In the closing argument. Only his appointed defence council apologized on his behalf," says Melanie, with a sad look.

Melanie lives in Zug and has experienced some blows of fate

The travel consultant completely withdrew from her usual environment for the rest of her "20s". Only her parents, her sister and a handful of friends knew the truth: "For many people, I almost disappeared from the scene."

The virus is no longer detectable, thanks to tablets,
Love and sexuality also did not come into question for Melanie for more than five years after she learned of her HIV infection. "I couldn't imagine anyone wanting to be with me in those circumstances," admits Melanie. She gradually had involved in more intimate relationships, and is today happily engaged to her partner.

"We should have married on May 1st, but we had to unfortunately postpone the wedding because of Corona."

Despite her immunodeficiency, Melanie does not belong to risk group, and she can lead as normal life as possible, thanks to the advanced drugs. She now only has to take one tablet a day and goes for a medical check-up twice a year. "I sometimes have concerns about what lifelong medication is doing to my body, however. There’s no long-term study on this," she reveals. Thanks to the tablets, the virus is no longer detectable in Melanie, and nothing thereby stands in the way of her long-awaited desire to have children with her partner. "The risk of an infection of the child is lower than, for example, the occurrence of a Trisomy 21," says Melanie.

Trying to become pregnant
She’s been trying to become pregnant for about two years. A positive pregnancy test was followed by 11 happy weeks as parents in 2019, until the first trimester examination suddenly failed to hear a heartbeat from the foetus. "Miscarriages are not uncommon in the first three months of pregnancy. The loss of the baby definitely had no connection with HIV," Melanie says. She and her partner are not discouraged by this.

But nothing could take away Melanie’s courage for life, which she had regained three years ago. She now accepts herself, her infection and her past. Three years ago, for example, she went public with her story by means of a detailed interview with a German online magazine. This was a very important first step for Melanie. Further along the way followed the publication of her documentary "The Virus and I – Living with HIV" on Westdeutscher Rundfunk earlier this year:

"I was just tired of hiding any longer."

She also wants to encourage people in the same situation and to raise awareness of the issue. "The stigma of HIV is stuck in the minds of society, as is the outdated image that only prostitutes, gays and junkies are infected with HIV. This should disappear from the minds of society," says Melanie.

There is still discrimination against HIV-infected people today. In the past, Melanie was even rejected by doctors because of her illness. There are also, unfortunately, still many countries where IV-positive people are not allowed to enter at all. or only to a limited extent. "Officially, I have only been allowed to enter the United States since former US President Barack Obama relaxed the law." She also thinks it’s very important that everyone regularly tests for the virus in order to know its status and prevent spread through negligence. "In the meantime, you can even get a quick test in the pharmacy. But I would find it more useful if the HIV test were part of the large tests count during the annual routine examination by the doctor." It is a matter of the heart for Melanie to tackle the stigma of HIV.

* Name known by the editor.