Finding a partner in Corona times

Things are not easy at the moment for singles who want to meet someone new. One option is online speed dating. An expert advises that singles should match their dates to their own personal interests. And he also provides tips for people who feel lonely.

The Corona pandemic has turned the world on its head – and this is true for all areas of life, including the search for a partner. How do I get to know someone when the bars, clubs and restaurants are closed and no events are taking place? Nick Ganz, Managing Director of Speedflirting GmbH, has been running speed dating events in the canton of Zug for more than ten years. Last March, when the first lockdown was announced, his event agency immediately began preparing to offer online speed dating. After several test runs, the first virtual meetings took place in April, he reports.

How much demand is there? And how does speed dating work on the Internet? He has new registrations every day, says Nick Ganz. Overall, however, the demand is slightly smaller than for face-to-face encounters, "because there are some singles who don't want online dating"., Online speed dating has been taking place weekly since November, with seven women and seven men in each case.

Short meetings at a "virtual table"
The participants can sign up for a Zoom video conference from the comfort of their home. They are first greeted and instructed by the moderator. After that, all the participants get to know each other – with each encounter lasting seven minutes. After each round, the men move to the next "virtual table". After the speed dating has been finished, everyone meets up for a drink at the virtual bar. Nick Ganz adds: "The surprise effect is greater online, because you don't see each other beforehand, even from a distance."

Going for a walk instead of having a drink together: new ideas are needed when there are no bars open in which to meet your date
Symbol image: Ralph Ribi

The Corona time is not easy for single people who would like to meet someone. Nick Ganz therefore recommends trying out online speed dating. It takes time and patience, but the feedback is very positive. "Now is a good time to meet someone," says the manager. "Because many of the people who have been single over the last twelve months have really experienced the disadvantages of being alone."

Not all people feel the need for social contacts
As a sexual and couple counsellor in Zug, David Siegenthaler deals with topics such as being alone and loneliness. About 20 to 25% of his clients are singles. "Their concerns are very diverse," he says in an interview. It's all about satisfaction with yourself and your own body, the courage to approach someone, about flirting, erectile problems or getting away from consuming porn – just to name a few thematic areas.

Is the Corona Time particularly challenging for singles? That’s very individual, replies the expert. There are people who have no great need for social contacts, or for a partnership.

"They can enjoy having more time for themselves, and thereby being able to fully live out their freedom."

Other people prefer to be in large groups. "To these people, I recommend that they should take action and make use of their network." It’s still possible to meet people, albeit in a reduced form.

Getting to know yourself better
It becomes more difficult is you are alone unintentionally, and also have to contend with existential fears, he adds. The consultant recommends to people in such a situation that they should consider the following questions: What are my interests and what else could they become? Which friends and family members are important to me, and would I like to meet? Where can I get help?

"You’re also allowed to feel sorry for yourself, and to feel bad."

It’s a case of accepting the situation, and then looking for ways to get out of it. You can do this by setting a time limit and to then start being active again – whether this means just calling a friend, or cleaning up the kitchen. "At best, you will get to know yourself better through this process, you will find new interests and can enjoy the freedom of only having to pay attention to your own needs." Or there’s the possibility of getting to know new people, and perhaps falling in love.

Hiking, sports, cooking, gaming
It’s clear that the search for a partner has changed due to Corona. "But it’s still possible to get to know potential partners." For example, David Siegenthaler mentions opportunities at work or when meeting friends, who in turn being other friends along with them. And, of course, online. He can’t quote any numbers, but he does feels that online dating has increased. "The inhibition threshold is lower." On the other hand, the first "live date" with an Internet acquaintance is more personal if you can’t meet in a bar or for dinner, but perhaps meet someone at home, or plan a walk together.

But not everyone feels comfortable about going to the home of a virtually unknown person. Siegenthaler explains: "It’s important here to listen carefully to one’s feelings, and to be cautious and set clear boundaries if the other person doesn’t respect your wishes."

The consultant advises singles who want to meet someone on a date to be creative: "You can adapt the date to your common interests." For example, with a hike in the mountains, playing sports together or geocaching, agreeing to cook something together, or playing a game together.

For David Siegenthaler, it’s also clear that the Corona time also brings opportunities. Even for people who are alone involuntarily: "When people find themselves in a crisis, they help each other more often. And that welds people together. Difficult situations make us stronger, but we first have to learn to accept them."

If you’d like to sign up for an online speed dating, you can do so at www.speeddating.ch.